David and I were on the highest high, when Clara was born. I was able to hold her skin to skin the first hour and a half of her life. As I was holding her we just gazed into eachothers eyes, never happier or more content to look at anything else, I could have, and still can, stare at her forever. Eventually we had to get her cleaned off and wrapped in a blanket, so the nurse took Clara and started cleaning my little angel off, and inspecting her making sure everything was in tip top shape, and then the nurse and David both noticed a little bump on her bottom. It right where her butt crack was, or would be. The bump raised up her butt crack so she didn't really have one. You could see the concern on the nurse's face, but she acted as though she wasn't worried or concerned. She just said we'd have the doctor in to take a look at it. Clara was perfect other wise. It didn't bother her when they pushed, poked, and lightly pinched her little bump.
Mary Ellen, Grandma Mary Kay and uncle Tom all came in right before she got wrapped up. Grandma Mary Kay is a RN, and has been for 30 plus years. I asked her to take a look at Clara's mystery bump to see if she had any insite on it. It worried her, but she didn't tell us that until later. Once Clara was all wrapped up we all took turns holding her. Dean, Mary Ellen's husband and Clara's Godfather, came in with Hannah and Alyssa, their daughters. They just quietly stared at Clara while their parents held her. When Alyssa, the six year old, came in she look at me and said, Starr doesn't look any different to me, and came over to me and asked me how I got Clara out. I keep telling her to ask her mom, and she just keep asking me to tell her... I never did, and neither did her mom. Luckily for us, her 12 year old brother filled her in.... babies are pooped out! ha ha ha ha!!
The doctor came in and looked at it and said that she would order an ultra sound so we could see what the bump might be. I wasn't too worried, I had a feeling that everything was going to be alright. The next day we had the ultrasound and it turned out to be inconclusive. But it did show that her spine was great... because the bump was so low on her back and right at the end of her spine, some were worried that it could have been interfering with it, but that turned out just fine. There concerns now where that maybe it was just a cyst or it was a piece of her gut. While she was forming they explained how all of our guts are outside our body and then they all puzzle there way back into our bellies, and that this bump may be an extra piece of gut, or that when her guts where going in, one piece got stuck in the wrong spot, but we wouldn't know without an MRI. After that explination I started to worry, because our family history is not in our favor when it comes to our intestines. She got her MRI that night.
I was amazed at how quickly tests, the MRI, and the ultrasound were done on Clara. I didn't realize then how worried everyone was, like I know now. They wanted to find out what was wrong with our little girl, and quickly. The MRI was read that night, i'm pretty sure anyway this part gets kinda blurry to me. One of the higher up pediatrictians came in and told us there was a 9X4cm mass in Clara's pelvis, the dotor said she thought it was a teratoma tumor, but we wouldn't know for sure until it was taken out, and the pathology came back. Then she said that Clara had to have surgery, if she wouldn't have said that I wouldn't have put it together, I was in such shock. I heard what the doctor said but I couldn't believe it. Clara was perfect, she was healthy and wasn't suppose to have anything wrong with her, just like all the babies that were being born by my friends and family. It seemed like there was a baby born everyday in May and all of them where fine and healthy, and that is how Clara was supposed to be! She shouldn't have this HUGE mass inside of her! She is way to little! And it's not fair!!!!!!
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